Step 1: Health

We come to my first weekly reflection after I have made the focus about my binge eating habits. Well, it isn't pretty, I'll admit. And I'm sure once I've written it up and hit "post" on this entry I'll feel very embarrassed. But I really need to work on this problem, and I find writing to be extremely therapeutic, so here it goes: The Damage: Monday: Ate very well during the day at work. Was month end deadline and I am in a grand new job so not only is it busy due to the deadline, it's quite draining in the way that I am learning so my mind is active all day. On leaving work, heading to the gym, I couldn't help myself and pulled in to a Tesco and grabbed a bottle of coke zero and a snickers. I was actually pretty proud of myself for buying only this. On walking in I wanted chocolate, and a big bag of chips or something.  I ate the snickers very slowly compared to usual. Ate half across 15 minutes whilst waiting for the train. Then ate the o...

Today while I was outside on my lunch break, listening to the Quit Binge Eating podcast I had a brainwave: When I was a teenager, my mum and dad were separated and I lived with my mum and 3 siblings. Generally, once a week, mum would get home from work exhausted from the day she'd had. She just didn't feel like cooking or doing dishes, so she would let us choose take away for dinner and we'd head off and pick up pizza, kfc, maccas etc. I've made some observations about myself over the past week or so. When I am exhausted from work, or generally later in the work week I'm just tired - I guess the poor sleeping hours have caught up with me, I resort to take away. Or cheap quick easy meals. Not even the meals I have in the freezer that I can quickly heat up and eat. It is bad take away. And it is in excess. I keep going until my stomach hurts. The thoughts that run through my head are along the lines of that I just can't keep trying to create this perfect life ...

When I started this blog, I was extremely depressed with where my life was, especially with what state I had gotten my body in. So I found 12wbt, and focused on getting it into a state I was happy with. At first, my goal was 20 kgs. Over time though, as the weight loss progressed I realised I could do more than 20kgs and set my sights on a 32kg loss to get me to the middle of the healthy BMI range. 22kgs in with 10 to go, I've been sitting close to this weight loss for about a year or so. I've come to the realisation that my focus needs to change. Why can't I lose the last 10kgs? Something is wrong. I need to address that. For the past three months I have been settling myself into my new life in London: looking for work, coping with unemployment, learning my way around the city, coming to terms with big city life. In this period I lost about 5 kilos. Those 5 kilos got me into the healthy BMI range by 100grams. I was ecstatic. I then just somehow put on 2kgs wit...

So it's been a couple of days since I did the Facebook purge (see previous blog post). I've had a couple of days to experience the change. Lets just say I'm freaking loving it!!! Omg who would have thought something so small could be so liberating. Every time I log on I see about 5 new posts from pages I've liked and maybe one or two posts from my inner circle. Now that's what I'm talking about! YES!!! Thank you Internet gods for giving me that little brainwave. I feel like my time is no longer being wasted on a compulsion to care about day to day activities of acquaintances or less important people in my life. It was definitely a worthwhile exercise. I recommend it if you are like me - you can't help yourself and spend hours on Facebook or you are just sick and tired of the magnitude of irrelevant information thrown in your face every day. Highly recommend it.

I'm so over Facebook and the need I have for it in my life. I'm living overseas so I rely on it to keep in contact with my family and friends, but also to be able to keep up with what is happening in their life by seeing their posts and updates when we don't have time to contact each other. If it wasn't for this need I would have ditched the thing weeks ago. I'm so utterly sick of it and what it causes people to do. I sadly have become addicted to Facebook. Every morning and every night I look it up to see what all these people I don't regularly contact are up to. Because, you know, it matters so much to me!!! *I hope I can portray a shred of the sarcasm in my writing as I say it in my mind right now* Have you ever noticed that Facebook has almost become this "keeping up with the Joneses" source? Who can post the best looking gourmet meal they've made? Who can post the most extravagant places/landmarks they've travelled to? Who can post to ...

NOT!!! Calorie counting ain't easy when your scales break. I've moved into a new neighbourhood on the other side of the world as well so no clue where I can get a replacement set easily before the day is out. Annoyed is an understatement!! Lol. Sorry guys I'm just grumpy and needed a vent. I've moved into a fully furnished flat and was under the impression there isn't much I would need to buy at all on arrival. But I guess I assumed wrong - as I've had to buy so many things to get settled and comfortable. And it hasn't stopped yet. I think I am just feeling the pressure whilst unemployed. And when things around the house keep breaking my anxiety increases slightly when it's not my things and I actually need them to exist for the next two years at least!!  Oh well, no excuses. I've just got to get my bum to the shops and get some scales. Simple as that.

I'm back. It's coming up to the start of week 8 of the current 12wbt round I signed up for. I've actually barely started this round to tell you the truth - I probably signed up at the wrong time in my life. Since the start of the round I have packed up and moved from Brisbane to London, then I went on a month long holiday around Europe, and now I'm back in London setting up my new home (I'd never been to London before this!!) So yep, safe to say I've been dealing with a few challenges when it's come to actually participating this round. Being away on holidays was the hardest bit - as we went for the cheapest hotels out there to save money so no room to workout, I didn't have appropriate attire to workout outside in the cold weather coming from Brisbane, no cooking facilities either so half our meals were restaurant meals, and also just being torn between the once in a life time experience of tasting all the local cuisines. Yes I know, excuse after excuse...