Step 1: Health

Today I have officially made it to the half way point in my weight loss in order to get to my goal weight of 60kgs. That is a 16kg loss!!! I've done it slow and steady, as this is my second round of 12wbt, so I've been working on it since last September. But I've learnt so many lessons along the way, and I just keep getting better in every aspect - my food, fitness, and most importantly my mind. Last night was also one of the first significant moments where I truly flexed my will power muscle. That has been one of my downfalls along my journey. But last night I went out with a bunch of good friends to a bar. Everyone was keen to have a few. I did not drink a single drop, I just had soda water and lime to drink instead. And when everyone ordered a light (but carb loaded) dinner I said no, even though my stomach was growling at me like crazy, and I went home to eat some of the leftover chicken soup from Monday night. I have never ever said no to drinking. I alw

When I binge, it's like another being takes over my body. I am so far gone and out of control that I don't even remember starting the process. Tonight I binged. I admitted it to my partner and he asked me what goes through my head when I get dressed, get my wallet and walk to the shops. I couldn't answer that question. Not because I dont want to - I do, because I know he will try and help me. But I couldn't answer him because, I thought about it for a moment, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what goes through my head, other than I want something "yummy" to eat. Tonight someone at the shop actually said to me as I was being served by the sales assistant "honey, that is not a healthy dinner". That cut deep. I looked to him like a fat girl who was depressed and was going home to eat. Little did he know his comment burned and I went home and probably did double the damage I would of done had I not felt more upset by his com