Don't Know How To Break My Addictions

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Argh!!!! I'm so embarrassed about the post I am about to make. But I have to put everything out there and be fully honest in this process, or I won't improve.

So after Friday's post, I didn't go to the gym. Instead I wigged out crazy. I lost the plot. I got super stressed about this last week of my job and all the work I have to do. I discussed it with my partner and he suggested to give the exercise a break, and just get all of your work done. It's my last week so it's the only chance I have. Focus on the food and then get straight back into the exercise. I felt relieved. I felt like I had a weight off my shoulders. Ok, all I need to do is focus on getting all of my work done and I'll be right. 

WRONG!!!!!! I gave in completely. To every single one of my addictions. Which now I believe is what I use to numb myself from my surroundings. I think I use them to zone out on all my troubles. I just have no idea where to go from here. I can recognise them all. It's just, what is the next step? If it was so easy and simple I wouldn't be addicted to these activities would I?

So with all of the work I have on my plate at the moment I feel overwhelmed. And in 1 day (yesterday), I have done a number of things which I have recognised as my addictions.
1. Eating an excessive amount of McDonalds. I don't usually eat it, especially after 1 round of 12wbt. But I just gave in yesterday.
2. Eating potato chips and drinking iced coffee.
3. Drinking coffee & tea. I know this one isn't that bad, but when I drink coffee now days, I don't even enjoy it. It tastes like crap. Ever since my first 12wbt round I have lost the taste for it, bit it's like a built in habit in my system to just drink it all day long. I don't enjoy it, but I just feel like having it.
4. Watching dvds. Whenever I have alot to get done, I always have breaks and watch an hour of a tv show I've got on dvd or something. Or I watch dvds as I am completing the work. WHY?? It is just postponing or slowing me down on what I need to get done. So why am I doing it? Why can't I just fully focus on everything I need to get done and do it sooner.
5. My most embarrassing addiction, which I don't particularly want to admit, but I need to be honest, is playing Farmville. It is so stupid!! I only play it when I'm stressed. It is such a stupid waste of time. It's just meaningless clicking on the computer on a game that never ends and you have to login to regularly due to the time frames of things that happen on it, which is why people get so addicted I think.

Anyway why am I doing all of the above things???? I know they're stupid and I should not be doing them. I just don't know how to cut them out. I'm so upset. I feel like I can recognise the issue but I just have no idea where to go from there. How do I cope with these unnecessary activities I'm doing to drown out my stress. I'm pretty sure all I am doing is numbing myself of what problems I should actually be dealing with. I feel like I need to start going to a psychologist or something. Because right now I just don't know what to do. But I do know I need to fix this. It's all in my mind and it's going to impact my results on 12wbt if it continues. I want to be successful in this regaining health journey I am on, but I think I have come to my biggest road blocks. I need to deal with them head on if I am going to have any chance of continuing.

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