Week 8 - Regroup Week

So unfortunately my weeks are quite busy that I write my blogs on the train into work on the notepad app thing on my phone, but don’t get a moment to sit down and edit them until the weekend. So I’m going to give them a subheading of the actual date I wrote them so they make a bit more sense.

 

Wednesday 25^th March 2015:

First step of regrouping in week 8 is to go back to your goals that you set in preseason, which you also tweaked in week 4.

I'm embarrassed to say I didn't do either. I didn't set appropriate goals in preseason. I originally set out to run a half marathon and then realised it was too tight a time frame for my existing injuries that were quite apparent after my 10km run.

From that point on I decided to just follow the beginners program to rebuild my strength gradually. I didn't rewrite my goals in preseason or week 4 like I should of. I just kind of said in my head that that's what I'd do. Did you think I followed through? Of course not. There's a reason Michelle Bridges tells you to set realistic achievable goals in writing in preseason.  And there's a reason she tells you to revisit them in week 4. I'm displaying the evidence of that reason right now. I've achieved nothing in the past 8 weeks.

So, enough beating myself up. I've got 4.5 weeks of this round to go. I'm going to give myself some minor goals to get me to the end of this round.

GOALS:

• To get under 70kgs by end of round (last time I weighed in I was 71.8 - 4kgs heavier than my lightest on this program)
• To count my calories at least 5/7 days via the online calorie counter I use (aim for 7 - achieve 5). My calorie intake is to be 1500 each day.
• To follow the 12wbt beginner exercise plan to a tee for the next 4.5 weeks.

That's it. Nothing spectacular. Nothing to shout from the rooftops.

It's slow and steady. It requires consistency. It is the foundation to a weight loss "transformation" or to lifelong healthy habits. That is what I believe I need right now.

Grrrrrrr. Am on train on way home after work right now and I had to pause writing to move to another seat. WTF is it with London people? Seriously - they make me mad EVERY - SINGLE - DAY. I'm on the Overground. There's plenty of room to sit down - big seats. Yet, a slender woman sitting next to me feels the need to let her oversized coat lay across me. Feels the need to have her arm outstretched across me. It infuriates me. People here have no self-awareness or concept of personal space. I come home some days wanting to punch things. This lifestyle is not healthy. I constantly weigh up if all of this travel and experiences are worth the daily grind that is London. Sometimes I just don't know.

GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, digressing!!

Next on regrouping - acknowledge your achievements so far. Or, if disappointed, why? What are you doing wrong?

Sigh. I am disappointed. And I've been doing a lot wrong.

• I haven't been organised - cooking meals for the week IF I can squeeze it in. Otherwise the food just goes bad in my fridge in time for the next grocery shop. Case in point - the time I had to chuck 3 florets of broccoli out when I was meaning to cook a huge batch of broccoli soup.
• I've been allowing myself treats & slip ups. I basically have relaxed my will power to the point of non-existent. Imagine will power being a piece of elastic that you use in sewing clothes. Now imagine that piece of elastic so old and stretched and warn that it doesn't work anymore. Your shorts fall down when you wear them. That's what my will power looks like. It is time to get out the sewing machine and get that fresh batch of elastic from Spotlight SEWN IN!!!!!! Wear those shorts with pride woman! No more cakes with office birthdays. No more junk that people try to feed you at work. No more sneaky snacks of chips when you're feeling low. No no no no no. Just say no!
• And finally the exercise has been a disaster. I miss it so often for various reasons (*cough* excuses). I need to work late (why? You dislike your job and you're a contractor leaving the country - you are not going to make an impact on anyone's life if you stay back an hour or two). I'm too tired to go to the gym. I have too much to do at home to fit gym in tonight.

New approach - stop trying to fit so much into your weekend that you don't have time to breathe during the week. Make gym & getting your food prep sorted for tomorrow your only "have-to" in the evenings. Anything else that's crucial will have to be pushed to the weekend

To be honest I've been in a massive tug of war inside my own head for months now. Time in London is tick tick ticking. I've barely scraped the surface of the things around London I want to experience because I've been doing a million other things so I've been stressed. Upset with myself. I've been trying to cram so much travel and site seeing into weekends that into found the weekdays severely stressful. I’ve re-negotiated with myself to make this work. I’m allowing myself two weeks work free in London before I move back to Oz. I can try and fit things in here and there on my weekends while I am working, but I’m not going to pressure myself over it. I’m going to treat those two work-free weeks as my “tourist in London” time. And I’m going to do all of those sites and activities I’ve been wanting to do for ages.

This kind of pressure isn't healthy

 Weight on shoulders --> LIFTED!


Finally, what have you learnt about yourself over the past 8 weeks?

This is a hard one. I think I have learnt a lot but I am unsure how to pin point it or articulate it.

• I have learnt that I need to be kinder to myself. I put so much pressure on myself to achieve big things that I become overwhelmed and crumble.
• I have learnt that I have definitely slipped off my healthy lifestyle wagon that I have built up and maintained since late 2011. But that is ok. I can turn this ship around. The important thing is that I have recognised it.
• Finally, I have learnt that big cities and rushed lifestyles do not make me happy. This is not what I want for my future. Yes it’s not exactly health specific, but it all interlopes. If I am unhappy in other areas of life, my health suffers. If I am unhappy I do not have strong mental or emotional health which end up reflecting in my physical health. My physical health is what is going to get me living a long and rewarding life. So I cannot ignore those little mental and emotional health factors screaming inside my head for me to fix.

Step 1: Health!