Week 3 & 4 - Energy
These past couple of weeks have gone a lot better than the first two. Well, actually, I guess they are pretty similar in terms of ups and downs. I guess that's just life right? As long as there are ups as well. My prior life (pre-quitting my last job), seemed to mostly just be made up of downs. It was hard to recall or even notice the ups. If there were any.
So these past couple of weeks have been all about my energy levels. After being the crying sloth trying to cross the road - has anyone seen that video of a sloth crawling across the road? It's a great symbol or visual for lethargy. After being that lethargic sloth, I really began to regain energy in week three. I could feel it. It was great. Each day I'd get up with a little bit more "go get em" than the day before. And it felt fantastic. I started going on walks around my neighbourhood. I started cleaning out my wardrobe, which is filled to the brim with clothes that I've been meaning to sell on ebay for about two years now and just haven't found the time to do it, or clothes that fit me when I returned from London, that are just very far out of my reach right now with my weight gain. Anyway, bit by bit I started chipping away at all the clothes in there. It was at the point where I just didn't open my wardrobe and I kept anything I did wear out sitting on a surface for easy access. I've been reading Gretchin Rubin's The Happiness Project lately and her first chapter or subject of working towards happiness including decluttering to give her energy to pursue her happiness project. And she's right. Decluttering does give you some sort of energy or invigoration.
Another thing the decluttering helped me recognise or gain was that I have come to realise that I am the type of person that gets energised by having an orderly environment. I came across this realisation through week four of my time off, where I just entered the week so poorly. I hadn't done a grocery shop. And I'd haphazardly agreed to a large number of social invites without thinking, on top of promising myself I'd do the four hour return trip to the Toowoomba Carnival of Flowers. As the week went on I felt more and more exhausted by keeping up with these demands, to the point the social stuff just didn't feel fun or like anything I wanted to do. And the thought of the flower festival daunted me, which was so sad because when I decided I wanted to do it, it felt like it was going to be pure heaven. I love flowers, and I love quiet me time. I had envisaged a day of doing the long drive but enjoying the drive listening to podcasts I love, then walking through fields of beautiful flowers, then doing the drive back listening to even more beloved podcasts. Alas, I had wiped my energy this week, through the over-commitments and the lack of preparation on entering the week, that I just didn't go. I cancelled on a couple of the social events as my mental health was just not up for the challenge. And I cancelled on myself. My biggest disappointment.
It's incredibly ironic, but one thing my previous job taught me was that you can get through anything as long as you don't give up. You just pick yourself up and try again. To cut a long story short, in my last four months of employment, it was my responsibility to deliver a huge project that was bigger than me. I encountered so many hurdles and obstacles along the way including IT issues, staff performance issues, my lack of emotional stability issues, the list goes on. But I was so focussed on this end game that although these issues were so hard and soul destroying, I just kept going and going and going. Because I'd made it my focus to get this job done. There was no giving in. I'd set my sights on this, then I'd finish with the company. If I can do that for a company, ie. a vessel I shouldn't really have a personal investment in, imagine what I could accomplish for myself if I approached things with that same focus.
Anyway, I did say long story short. The point I'm trying to articulate, quite poorly. I'm sorry, I know my writing at the moment is very rigid and abrasive and doesn't really flow. I guess you could say that's the state of my mind right now, which is why the words are coming out that way. But what I'm trying to say is, next week, or today even, I'm trying again. The over-commitment and the poor decisions on my part are just an obstacle I need to learn from and work around. And give it another shot. Lauren, let's try to assess things before you agree to them next time so you're not over-committed.
Recommendations...
So these past couple of weeks have been all about my energy levels. After being the crying sloth trying to cross the road - has anyone seen that video of a sloth crawling across the road? It's a great symbol or visual for lethargy. After being that lethargic sloth, I really began to regain energy in week three. I could feel it. It was great. Each day I'd get up with a little bit more "go get em" than the day before. And it felt fantastic. I started going on walks around my neighbourhood. I started cleaning out my wardrobe, which is filled to the brim with clothes that I've been meaning to sell on ebay for about two years now and just haven't found the time to do it, or clothes that fit me when I returned from London, that are just very far out of my reach right now with my weight gain. Anyway, bit by bit I started chipping away at all the clothes in there. It was at the point where I just didn't open my wardrobe and I kept anything I did wear out sitting on a surface for easy access. I've been reading Gretchin Rubin's The Happiness Project lately and her first chapter or subject of working towards happiness including decluttering to give her energy to pursue her happiness project. And she's right. Decluttering does give you some sort of energy or invigoration.
Another thing the decluttering helped me recognise or gain was that I have come to realise that I am the type of person that gets energised by having an orderly environment. I came across this realisation through week four of my time off, where I just entered the week so poorly. I hadn't done a grocery shop. And I'd haphazardly agreed to a large number of social invites without thinking, on top of promising myself I'd do the four hour return trip to the Toowoomba Carnival of Flowers. As the week went on I felt more and more exhausted by keeping up with these demands, to the point the social stuff just didn't feel fun or like anything I wanted to do. And the thought of the flower festival daunted me, which was so sad because when I decided I wanted to do it, it felt like it was going to be pure heaven. I love flowers, and I love quiet me time. I had envisaged a day of doing the long drive but enjoying the drive listening to podcasts I love, then walking through fields of beautiful flowers, then doing the drive back listening to even more beloved podcasts. Alas, I had wiped my energy this week, through the over-commitments and the lack of preparation on entering the week, that I just didn't go. I cancelled on a couple of the social events as my mental health was just not up for the challenge. And I cancelled on myself. My biggest disappointment.
It's incredibly ironic, but one thing my previous job taught me was that you can get through anything as long as you don't give up. You just pick yourself up and try again. To cut a long story short, in my last four months of employment, it was my responsibility to deliver a huge project that was bigger than me. I encountered so many hurdles and obstacles along the way including IT issues, staff performance issues, my lack of emotional stability issues, the list goes on. But I was so focussed on this end game that although these issues were so hard and soul destroying, I just kept going and going and going. Because I'd made it my focus to get this job done. There was no giving in. I'd set my sights on this, then I'd finish with the company. If I can do that for a company, ie. a vessel I shouldn't really have a personal investment in, imagine what I could accomplish for myself if I approached things with that same focus.
Anyway, I did say long story short. The point I'm trying to articulate, quite poorly. I'm sorry, I know my writing at the moment is very rigid and abrasive and doesn't really flow. I guess you could say that's the state of my mind right now, which is why the words are coming out that way. But what I'm trying to say is, next week, or today even, I'm trying again. The over-commitment and the poor decisions on my part are just an obstacle I need to learn from and work around. And give it another shot. Lauren, let's try to assess things before you agree to them next time so you're not over-committed.
Recommendations...
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
It's a great read to even just get ideas about little things you could do to get a bit more happiness in your day to day. You don't need to do your own intensive happiness project. The book provides a hell of a lot of inspiration though. I highly recommend giving it a look.
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