My New Health Focus
When I started this blog, I was extremely depressed with where my life
was, especially with what state I had gotten my body in. So I found 12wbt, and
focused on getting it into a state I was happy with. At first, my
goal was 20 kgs. Over time though, as the weight loss progressed I
realised I could do more than 20kgs and set my sights on a 32kg loss
to get me to the middle of the healthy BMI range. 22kgs in with 10
to go, I've been sitting close to this weight loss for about a year or so. I've come to the realisation that my focus needs to change. Why can't I
lose the last 10kgs? Something is wrong. I need to address that.
For the past three months I have been settling myself into my new life in London: looking for work, coping with unemployment, learning my way around the city, coming to terms with big city life. In this period I lost about 5 kilos. Those 5 kilos got me into the healthy BMI range by 100grams. I was ecstatic. I then just somehow put on 2kgs without even realising. How on earth did that happen? Reaching a healthy BMI was such a massive milestone for me that I've wanted for so long. Why did I reach it then let it slip away? Well, over the past few weeks I've observed something about myself. Something I already knew deep down and have probably skimmed across and mentioned lightly in the blog in the past, but never really delved into it.
I am a binge eater.
More specifically, I am an emotional eater who binges my way through emotions.
I have been doing a lot of research in the way of binge eating recently, as well as a lot of self observation, which has led me to come to this realisation. I have watched myself numb my emotions with food. Having an out-of-body experience watching myself do these acts, I do not believe that I know how to handle my emotions. I suppress them. With food. Even as I'm writing this I'm downing a family sized bag of potato chips because it makes it easier to face facts. How sad. I look at myself and think how sad am I.
Anyway, it's out there now. It took me a good couple of weeks to build up the courage to write this blog. But I know this is my health focus now. It's not about following 12wbt to try and lose these last 10kgs. Well, right now it's not. It's apparent that is not working at this stage in my "journey". It's time to delve deep and work on overcoming my emotional eating issue.
For the past three months I have been settling myself into my new life in London: looking for work, coping with unemployment, learning my way around the city, coming to terms with big city life. In this period I lost about 5 kilos. Those 5 kilos got me into the healthy BMI range by 100grams. I was ecstatic. I then just somehow put on 2kgs without even realising. How on earth did that happen? Reaching a healthy BMI was such a massive milestone for me that I've wanted for so long. Why did I reach it then let it slip away? Well, over the past few weeks I've observed something about myself. Something I already knew deep down and have probably skimmed across and mentioned lightly in the blog in the past, but never really delved into it.
I am a binge eater.
More specifically, I am an emotional eater who binges my way through emotions.
I have been doing a lot of research in the way of binge eating recently, as well as a lot of self observation, which has led me to come to this realisation. I have watched myself numb my emotions with food. Having an out-of-body experience watching myself do these acts, I do not believe that I know how to handle my emotions. I suppress them. With food. Even as I'm writing this I'm downing a family sized bag of potato chips because it makes it easier to face facts. How sad. I look at myself and think how sad am I.
Anyway, it's out there now. It took me a good couple of weeks to build up the courage to write this blog. But I know this is my health focus now. It's not about following 12wbt to try and lose these last 10kgs. Well, right now it's not. It's apparent that is not working at this stage in my "journey". It's time to delve deep and work on overcoming my emotional eating issue.
After dinner mint? It's only wafer-thin .
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