And Reality Sets In
Reality hit me this week. The end of my London life is creeping up faster and faster. My partner and I are planning on finishing work late August, then commencing our huge summer trip before flying back to Australia for good. That means there's just over 4 months until my summer trip!! About 18 months ago my goal (wish) was to comfortably wear a bikini on said trip whilst lying on the beach of one of the Greek Islands. I say wish because I didn't really do anything about a plan to make this goal happen. I haven't worn a bikini since I was about 16. And then it was in the privacy of my back yard when no one was home. Put it this way - I've never publicly worn a bikini. In fact, the last time I wore even a one piece swimsuit in public was swimming laps with a close friend years ago. And then I wore board shorts to cover my thighs until I got in the water, took them off whilst in the pool and left them on the edge of the lane we were swimming laps in, then put them back on before I got out of the pool. Jeez, I've never really considered this but I wonder what she thought of me doing that at the time.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!! 4 months is so not that long away. And I still weigh about the same I did 18 months ago when I set the goal. In all honesty the only parts of my body I'm truly unhappy with and dare I say it, ashamed of enough to not wear a bikini, is my thighs and stomach. The fat and cellulite collection I have going on there gets me down quite a bit. When I lost the mammoth 20kgs I have lost, the majority of it came off my upper body. My lower body got smaller, but not to the point where I'd call it skinny and comfortably parade around near naked.
Anyway, no self-bashing on this blog anymore. It's banned!! So I still want to participate in this goal I have. Otherwise I'll keep putting it off and off and off and before I know it I'm living on the Sunshine Coast (my future goal for when I return to Australia) and I never visit the beach due to lack of confidence.
So I made a couple of decisions this week:
I actually decided about the 1200 calorie target last weekend. So all of this week I've been "trialling" it should I say. I'm quite proud of myself - I've tracked my calories for 7 days straight. That is rare for me. If I do track it, it's usually for 3-4 days a week, then I stop tracking and I start eating - A LOT!
The results? Eating only 1200 calories is really hard! I used to find it so easy. I'm not really sure why. Maybe the fact that I was dropping the weight so quickly that I didn't think twice to question what I was doing because it was working. But this week I really struggled. I was just hungry every - single - day. My stomach just rumbled at me. Most days I went over. I hit an average of 1500 calories every day. Which is an improvement, as I was previously aiming for 1500 and hitting 1800-2000. The good thing about tracking your calories is that you can pin point the key areas you are going wrong. My areas for improvement? I buy a morning coffee on the way to work. That's 100 cals gone. Also, whenever I purchased a meal out rather than making something at home or taking something from home to work for lunch, that would add on another 150-250 calories. If I dropped both of those habits that is my 300 calorie surplus right there. So my focus this week is to not purchase any meals - always bring something from home (I'm about to do a big cookup/meal prep session for the week after this blog post so no excuses), and to not buy coffee on the way to work. That's a really tough habit to break. So to begin with I'm going to start bringing an instant coffee or a hot tea to work with me so I have something to sip on the train. The max that counts for is 30 calories, so a bit better than 100. I know it's going to get easier in a couple of weeks though. In the past it takes me about two weeks to get back into the 1200 swing. It just takes a little time for your stomach to catch up and realise it's not as hungry as it thinks it is.
On top of having a big week of self-awareness and observing my habits and actions, it's also been a big week for me for getting back in the drivers seat. I've done quite a bit to get back in control. I've booked a few necessary appointments - doctors and chiro. Terry & I sat down and planned out the next 6 months of trips around Europe. We still need to do all the logistics and booking, but it is all in the calendar with that time locked down. It's so exciting! I can't believe how many countries and sites we will have seen by the time we get back to Australia. We truly are fortunate to have this experience in our life.
I also downloaded a to-do list app onto my phone at the start of the week. It's turning out to be so handy. Every time I think of something I need to do, I jump in the app and quickly put it in the list. If I know it has a due date I can put it in. I can also rate it on it's level of priority - low, medium or high. Or if I'm in a rush I can just quickly hit "New Task", type a one-liner telling me what the to-do is, then accept. And it's held in that list until I tick it off as done. It also lists it by due date and priority. It's cleared my mind. Instead of me running around like a frantic woman all week, I've felt comfort in the fact that if I need to do something, it is in that list I can refer to at any time. And if I've assigned a due date to it, my phone will remind me it's coming up. That's part 1 of getting in control, the 2nd part is making sure the to-do's get done. Knowing I had a huge list and a free day yesterday, I had brekkie with my partner and then headed to my nearest shopping centre for the day. I spent the day running errands from my list, then sitting in a cafe for a few hours sending emails I have been meaning to. Gosh it was fantastic! I didn't get through everything, but I knocked quite a lot off the list and feel so much more at ease. It's a god send.
Well, that's about it from me in terms of an update on where I'm at. It's time for me to head off and prepare as much food as I can for the week ahead. I really want to try and get this 1200 calorie thing down pat. If I can, I am sure the weight will start falling off again.
Hope everyone has a great week.
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| What I'll look like in 4 months - hey a girl can dream can't she! |
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!! 4 months is so not that long away. And I still weigh about the same I did 18 months ago when I set the goal. In all honesty the only parts of my body I'm truly unhappy with and dare I say it, ashamed of enough to not wear a bikini, is my thighs and stomach. The fat and cellulite collection I have going on there gets me down quite a bit. When I lost the mammoth 20kgs I have lost, the majority of it came off my upper body. My lower body got smaller, but not to the point where I'd call it skinny and comfortably parade around near naked.
Anyway, no self-bashing on this blog anymore. It's banned!! So I still want to participate in this goal I have. Otherwise I'll keep putting it off and off and off and before I know it I'm living on the Sunshine Coast (my future goal for when I return to Australia) and I never visit the beach due to lack of confidence.
 |
| And where I will be............ |
- To sign up for the next round of 12wbt which starts 3rd May. I was going to skip a round, take the pressure off for a little while, then do one when I got back to Oz. But after reality hit, I realised I would need a little guidance and structure if I'm to come close to my goal.
- Enough of this 1500 calorie target when it comes to food. It's not working. I'm blowing the target constantly and I'm not losing weight. I've decided to go back to what has worked for me in the past - 1200 calories.
- I'm going to do a workout every day I possibly can, but I'm going to give myself Friday's off. At the moment I aim to go to the gym every Friday evening. But every single Friday I find some excuse not to go. I take my gym gear to work. I procrastinate from about 3pm onwards and start playing cat and mouse in my head with the prospect of going. And it usually results in me going out drinking or eating shit until I can't eat no more. Well not anymore - Friday night is going to be my night. I'm going to relax. Whether that be coming home and having alone time. Or catching up with a friend. Or colleagues or whatever. I just think that taking the pressure off me may hopefully mean I don't rebel as much and do extreme damage.
I actually decided about the 1200 calorie target last weekend. So all of this week I've been "trialling" it should I say. I'm quite proud of myself - I've tracked my calories for 7 days straight. That is rare for me. If I do track it, it's usually for 3-4 days a week, then I stop tracking and I start eating - A LOT!
The results? Eating only 1200 calories is really hard! I used to find it so easy. I'm not really sure why. Maybe the fact that I was dropping the weight so quickly that I didn't think twice to question what I was doing because it was working. But this week I really struggled. I was just hungry every - single - day. My stomach just rumbled at me. Most days I went over. I hit an average of 1500 calories every day. Which is an improvement, as I was previously aiming for 1500 and hitting 1800-2000. The good thing about tracking your calories is that you can pin point the key areas you are going wrong. My areas for improvement? I buy a morning coffee on the way to work. That's 100 cals gone. Also, whenever I purchased a meal out rather than making something at home or taking something from home to work for lunch, that would add on another 150-250 calories. If I dropped both of those habits that is my 300 calorie surplus right there. So my focus this week is to not purchase any meals - always bring something from home (I'm about to do a big cookup/meal prep session for the week after this blog post so no excuses), and to not buy coffee on the way to work. That's a really tough habit to break. So to begin with I'm going to start bringing an instant coffee or a hot tea to work with me so I have something to sip on the train. The max that counts for is 30 calories, so a bit better than 100. I know it's going to get easier in a couple of weeks though. In the past it takes me about two weeks to get back into the 1200 swing. It just takes a little time for your stomach to catch up and realise it's not as hungry as it thinks it is.
On top of having a big week of self-awareness and observing my habits and actions, it's also been a big week for me for getting back in the drivers seat. I've done quite a bit to get back in control. I've booked a few necessary appointments - doctors and chiro. Terry & I sat down and planned out the next 6 months of trips around Europe. We still need to do all the logistics and booking, but it is all in the calendar with that time locked down. It's so exciting! I can't believe how many countries and sites we will have seen by the time we get back to Australia. We truly are fortunate to have this experience in our life.I also downloaded a to-do list app onto my phone at the start of the week. It's turning out to be so handy. Every time I think of something I need to do, I jump in the app and quickly put it in the list. If I know it has a due date I can put it in. I can also rate it on it's level of priority - low, medium or high. Or if I'm in a rush I can just quickly hit "New Task", type a one-liner telling me what the to-do is, then accept. And it's held in that list until I tick it off as done. It also lists it by due date and priority. It's cleared my mind. Instead of me running around like a frantic woman all week, I've felt comfort in the fact that if I need to do something, it is in that list I can refer to at any time. And if I've assigned a due date to it, my phone will remind me it's coming up. That's part 1 of getting in control, the 2nd part is making sure the to-do's get done. Knowing I had a huge list and a free day yesterday, I had brekkie with my partner and then headed to my nearest shopping centre for the day. I spent the day running errands from my list, then sitting in a cafe for a few hours sending emails I have been meaning to. Gosh it was fantastic! I didn't get through everything, but I knocked quite a lot off the list and feel so much more at ease. It's a god send.
Well, that's about it from me in terms of an update on where I'm at. It's time for me to head off and prepare as much food as I can for the week ahead. I really want to try and get this 1200 calorie thing down pat. If I can, I am sure the weight will start falling off again.
Hope everyone has a great week.
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