My Commitment

Sunday, 28th August:

Now so far I've found each task to be quite methodical to tackle, a bit time consuming, but not a challenge or anything. This task however, is a different story. This task was really was a challenge for me.

 
The task:

This task is to make a commitment to yourself, and a commitment to others. Voice your goals. Say them out loud to your family, friends and colleagues.

 
The result (so far):

Well this task got on with a shaky task. All day Saturday I got myself up to date with the excuses and goals tasks (tasks 2 & 3). Then I got as far as I could on the gearing up task (task 4) as I could without leaving my home (ie. online shopping!!). On a side note, I love online shopping. God it beats going to a crazy busy shopping centre trying to find products with angry sales assistants ignoring you.

Anyway, back to task 5. So it's Sunday morning. I'm feeling great from making excellent progress on all of the previous tasks. I'm almost up to date! So I get up, make my vegemite toast and coffee for brekkie, and boot up my laptop. I have a quick read of the steps of the task and watch Mish's video detailing what we are to do.

Now my plan for this Sunday was to catch up on some overtime for my job I needed to get done before Monday. That is why I worked so hard on 12wbt on Saturday, so Sunday was free for work work. Instead, I buckled. The task freaked me well out. Admit to people that I was pursuing yet another weight loss attempt? Give me a break! This is the last thing I need. Mish, how is this meant to prepare us? I've been trying so hard to trust everything she has said up to date, but this one I couldn't understand how it was meant to help us. And more importantly, I just didn't feel that comfortable going through with it. Hell, she even suggested posting it on your Facebook profile. No - thank - you!
  1. I don’t want to tell my bf because he will be watching me every step of the way, asking me if I’ve done my training etc, and I just take it the wrong way as judgement and interrogation. I don’t like it.
  2. I don’t want to tell my family because – it’s complicated!! My mother has been ridiculing my weight since I was younger. And I have been upset about my weight for as long as I can remember – and I look at photos of myself when I was younger and felt so horrible, and my body was fine! She made me feel like crap for so many years and I just don’t want to involve her in anything to do with my weight in the future.
  3. I don’t want to tell all my friends and advertise it over facebook.
I don’t know. I just don’t want to advertise this fact. I just want to get in there, get it done. Why do I need to tell everyone? My shoulders feel tense just thinking of the stress of telling everyone.

So I've basically spent the day dwelling on the task. Not touching my work. Oh dear, this is going to cause issues for me.

To be continued.........

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